I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
