You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize