Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Liz is crying about burritos again.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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