Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
