Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
