Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
be right there i have to get my cape
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
