Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
