She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
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