I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
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