Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Randomize
