i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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