Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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