it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
