Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
