sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Randomize
