Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
