Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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