JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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