Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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