so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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