Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
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