just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
well, you know. whores of a feather.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
