In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Farmville is her only friend.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
