16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
