if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
