You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
