Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
