Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
