saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
