i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
