did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
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