doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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