Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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