And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
She's the barista slut.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
