names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
