it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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