I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
