I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
