yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
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