Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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