Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
