it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
