I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
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