I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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