all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
