if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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