Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
