I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
