hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
