He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
