Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
